Reply to Desperate…

Reply to Desperate 

You seem to be plagued by the same issues that I have, though, I am right-handed and wouldn’t you know it?  It is my right side that is partially paralyzed.  I used to try walking daily…until one lady who had her child with her mentioned to the girl, “Hurry, walk over here,” and they crossed the street.  Well so much for my daily walks (I was so embarrassed) or how about the time I was walking down the street and a small gang of teens began laughing as they pointed and mimicked me.  My slowed thinking brain, didn’t know what to say, (probably good) because my speech was affected also and that would have given them more ammo!  My hip is extremely painful most minutes and it drops when I try walking so that I have a girlish walk, or so I’ve been told.

My TBI occurred twenty-four years ago at age thirty-four and I am now fifty-eight.  I really do wish that I died in the accident (because there is never improvement so I isolate myself) and I just learned a few weeks ago that my dear mother did not want to continue life-support anymore as she considered my life over, but my then wife, wanted to keep me alive.  So being a trusting fool, I emerged from the two-month long coma and signed the papers granting my wife guardianship.  The ex took everything out of our names and put them in her name only — then divorced me.  She wouldn’t allow me to live at the home I had built four years earlier, but she continued to get my SSDI checks because she was my guardian, and try as one may to get her out of that roll, it took approximately a year. See when I called the social security department and asked to have her removed I was always told, “You can’t remove your own guardian, she will have to have herself removed. ” They talked down to me because my speech sounded as if I were drunk (slurred speech and inability to find correct word).

I have had a flawless record, not even a misdemeanor in 53 years, but then, well please read the arrest on my blog-site,  I complained to the cops over and over that I was disabled, but they gave me a breathalyzer test anyway.  The guy who administered the test  said to me, “I don’t understand it…no alcohol showed up!”

“I told you that I am disabled, not drunk!”  The way those  cops treated me in Stillwater, MN was despicable.

I am now a convicted felon currently serving five-years probation and am going back to court in July for voting in 2010.  My kid’s school had signs everywhere you looked telling you to get out and vote, the announcers on the radio reminded me, the mail was even reminding me to get out and vote.   The prods were everywhere; however, when I did I had police officers showing up at my door almost a year after the fact, in July of 2011.  There have been three court appearances to date but will be going in on the twenty-third of July for the final judgment.  This charge brings with it five years in jail or a $10,000 fine or both.

I remember attending Brain Injury Support Groups in about 1990 and after seeing how everybody seemed to be so happy I stood up and loudly asked, “What are all of you so happy about?”

Almost in unison they said, “We’re happy because we lived!”

And then I replied, “So what, you can’t do anything. This is not living it is only existing!”

My injuries are such that I haven’t been able to work since the crash, Mom you were so right.

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