“The Land of Smiles”

The Land of Smiles

1998 – At the, Singing Waiters and Waitresses Restaurant

The Philippine Islands are most assuredly, “The land of smiles.”  You may wonder why?  I mean, they are living in a third-world country.  There are not nearly enough jobs to go around and the jobs that are taken and that are available, pay so little there is hardly enough to get by on.

Though there are many sites to see on the islands, the Philippines are most definitely not a tourist destination.  One of the first sites one comes across driving from the airport to your hotel room are unfortunate children.  They beg in the sweltering streets while you sit waiting in your air-conditioned taxi on the way to your hotel.  The sight made me think of, Charles

The sorry and sad state of many Pilipinos

Dickens’, London and the play, Le Miserables of Paris, except that this was real life.  You, and you may not want to, look around at the misery of the Philippines.  Unable to go anywhere or to see anything except more traffic, you watch these kids as they walk (if able) from car to car begging for dollars and coins, or anything.

Some give a necklace of their national flower, Sampaguita, sweet smelling, small and white, in return of your donation and I felt guilty for ever complaining of my circumstances.  I was poor in America, but being poor in the U.S. is like being rich in most other countries of the world, though, that landscape is changing fast.

Really? Often times it is merely a ploy, which in turn, hurts the sincere homeless person more…

You see in America at entryways to the freeways homeless men with signs saying, “Will work for food” now imagine a land where one can’t work for food because there isn’t enough as it is and there is no money to earn, so that you can’t even buy it.  There is nothing, so they have their festivals and little celebrations to keep them happy and they are, for the most part.

Indeed, the pretty Filipinas working in the tourism industry are smiling and very helpful and even the everyday Filipina is mostly like that.  However, I went there to receive affordable therapy.   I was able to eat, talk, and workout with them.  And lest you think they are all nice because they only want something from you, well, that idea could not be further from the truth.

Let me share with you a true story, as all of my writings are true but sometimes I change the names to protect the innocent and guilty.  Herein Khay M’s story, verbatim; it has not been edited or corrected in any way.

This is a horror story from the Philippines…

I am sincerely very sorry to those foreigners who experienced horror stories with their filipina wives. But please do not judge all of us in general. NOT ALL FILIPINAS ARE THE SAME.

I am a filipina who’s been married with an american for 7 years. And i would like to share that we have a very good marriage.

My husband came to the philippines because his company sent him here for a 2-year assignment. As part of this transition, he was able to bring his family (a filipina wife and a daughter) with him. But before his 2 yrs contract ends, his wife then manipulated him into trusting her their money and going back to the US with their daughter she can prepare for the place they are moving back to. After his contract ended, she told him to hang around and enjoy the country while he is still here until he almost already spent whatever money he had, although he was confident that his wife would buy his ticket going back to the US since that’s what she told him. He then received a letter from her lawyer asking for divorce. Half way around the world, with almost no money at all, he had no choice.

I met him after he got divorced and his ex-wife re-married. I was still in college.  I used to stereotype foreigner males as those who likes dark-skinned, skinny, illiterate, little prostitutes. And i used to judge and laugh at those couples walking around feeling proud with their partners.

When i first saw him at the restaurant where me and my friends planned to have dinner before we kill the night, i immediately judged him as “one of them”. I showed no interest for him at all but he was very persistent. So then i thought, what the heck? He looks young (no one could tell that he was 32 already and he could pass as a 25 yr old), good looking, has a well-toned body, plus i wanted to feed my curiosity regarding the bedroom side. He gave me his number through a tissue paper and a waiter. We started exchanging text messages since and agreed to go out on a date 2 days later. We became friends (with benefits). “That’s all he was to me. Until he said the “L” word and started talking about moving together and introducing himself to my family which totally freaked me out. I was in college which my parents are supporting me with, and finding out that i was dating a foreigner would totally devastate them, let alone moving in together (which my parents totally disapproved). So i had to leave him. Tried to cut all my contacts with him, but he managed to find my parents address through a friend of ours. He came and talked to my parents, which didn’t turn out to be as bad as I thought. He only asked them if he could ask me to be his GF.

He had no money, no job, an illegal in my country, and no passport soon. He was basically stuck here. What could our future be. But I was already “in-love”.

Though I was only 18 at the time, i was already responsible and was making decent amount of money even before i met him from conducting piano and voice lessons and from singing at the hotels on the weekends. These helped me get him a lease in a decent 2 bedroom house in the same subdivision where me and my family lives, pay for his bills, and buy food. It came to the point when my friends and family started to discourage me about my relationship with him. But i was worried that he was too desperate enough and for me to leave him would be a huge blow on him. So i thought if he gets a job it would be easier for him to take the break-up but since he was illegal here, it’s hard to find a company who would hire him no matter how good his resume was. So i asked for my dad to pull out his contacts, and he finally got a good paying job. But the day he starts at his job was the day i found out that I was pregnant with his baby.

I had to drop-out from school and we ended up moving-in together despite of my parents disapproval. They wanted us to get married first but we couldn’t because of his illegal status and we couldn’t afford to pay for his immigration penalty, and we were too proud to ask for help. My parents were very angry and basically disowned me until i had our baby. He got acquainted with other foreigners eventually and started to do part-time jobs with them that got him fired from his job. and those foreigners conned him eventually. he was able to get a better job, again, with the help of my dad. But he also started cheating on me with his office mate. I was devastated and heart-broken when I found out. I was so angry that it lead to a bad break-up. I kicked him out of our house, got him fired from his job, and reported him to the immigration. He was able to hide himself at his other woman’s shabby apartment. Me, left to raise our son on my own and started to earn good with my job at the bank and as a realtor.

He realized eventually that his other woman was only with him because she thought he had money and will eventually take her to America, when she realized that he couldn’t give her any, she started cheating on him. There he came to beg me to take him back 4 months later.

As much as broken-hearted i still was, it was more painful to see my son growing without his father. I took him back and forgave him for the sake of our son. But i didn’t want to make the same mistake that i did, co-habiting without marriage. So i paid his immigration fees and got him a temporary visa so we could get married. We had 2 more kids, he was able to get a job with a multinational company with expat package and everything went well since.

Green Card is never an issue, and we never discussed it, nor am i interested. He now secured a permanent residency here. Money is never an issue as well, I have my own source of a decent income.

I don’t blame the foreigners who hates my kind because of their bad experiences. BUT PLEASE DON’T JUDGE US ALL BECAUSE YOURS DIDN’T TURN OUT TO BE WHAT YOU EXPECTED.

That was a view from the other side for a change.  Now whoever reads this —  please stop denigrating the Filipinas, for it is in often cases, their only chance at a decent living.   All means of earning a living are non-existent and will never be available to them.   Most Filipina women are a prize to be cherished indeed.  I speak to you as one who knows because I had the evil  Filipina, but that only served to make the good ones stand out and shine.

29 thoughts on ““The Land of Smiles”

  1. Excellent blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused .. Any tips? Many thanks!


  2. Hi. I was contemplating adding a website link back to your site since both of our websites are based mostly around the same topic. Would you prefer I link to you using your site address: %BLOGURL% or blog title: %BLOGTITLE%. Please make sure to let me know at your earliest convenience. Thanks


  3. Exploring stumbleupon.com I noticed your site bookmarked as: %BLOGTITLE%. I’m assuming you bookmarked it yourself and wanted to ask if social bookmarking gets you a ton of visitors? I’ve been contemplating doing some social bookmarking for a few of my websites but wasn’t certain if it would generate any positive results. Appreciate it.


  4. Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your site. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Kudos!


  5. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just what we’re looking for. Could you invite guests to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or even elaborating on some of the subjects you wrote about.

    Again, awesome website!


  6. What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively helpful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to contribute & help different users like its aided me. Great job.


  7. Howdy! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to
    my followers! Exceptional blog and great style and design.


  8. Very good blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for
    a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed. Any suggestions? Thanks!


    1. Hi clash of clans, I too, am an aspiring writer. I would definitely go with the free platform to begin with, like WordPress, that’s how I started and it has worked out well..


  9. Hey there. I’m wondering if you’d be interested in doing a website link swap? I see your website: %BLOGURL% and my blog are centered around the same subject. I’d love to swap links or possibly guest author a post for you. Here is my personal email: %EMAIL%. Be sure to contact me if you’re even slightly interested. Thank you.


  10. Totally agree with you. This is something there and it seems to me it’s a great idea. I agree with you. These words were translated from Russian (Абсолютно с Вами согласен. В этом что-то есть и мне кажется это отличная идея. Я согласен с Вами.)


  11. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your blog. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Exceptional work!


    1. I chose this design from many that WordPress offers; no I did not hire anybody other than to pay my blog fee once yearly to WP. After glancing at many designs this one stood out to me, but thank you and thanks Word Press.


  12. Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!


    1. thank you for checking me out “download chef” (that is a unique name) I need to begin writing again soon and I will.


  13. you are really a good webmaster. The site loading velocity is amazing. It kind of feels that you are doing any unique trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a excellent job in this topic!


  14. Howdy, I was delighted to have found your blog. Thanks for a remarkable post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design). I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment but I have book-marked the site. I will be back to read more. Keep up the excellent postings.


  15. Thank you for your share. Sorry you had to live through so many terrible things, but at least life seems to be improving with time; this was a great article as with most of your writings. Would like to put some of your work on my website. We could have a hyperlink alternate contract among us; thanks for your consideration.


  16. Hiya, I was really glad to find this site because it seems you have something to talk about and do so with a passionate voice, albeit unpolished. Many of the other bloggers will publish about anything, even just gossip. This is a good website with interesting content. Do you do newsletters, I haven’t been able to find.


    1. Say, followers, thank you for your comment. I wondered if what I was posting was of interest to others and I guess it was, so again, thank you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s