Dead, Dead, Dead…Let It Be


How dare her loved ones be so selfish…

The family of a 13-year-old Oakland girl who was declared brain-dead after tonsil-removal surgery said Thursday that loved ones would keep her alive despite pronouncements by a doctor that she was “dead, dead, dead, dead.”

I am writing from the perspective of that 13 year-old girl.  The doctor had said she was dead; please let her go so that she can leave this world with much civility and respect. 

I am a 59 year-old male who at age 33 in 1988 was involved in a near fatal car accident.  As a result I was comatose for 2 months and pronounced dead twice.  My “Last Rites” were given and still I lived.  My parents’ figured my life was over and predicted a poor outcome if I should live.

However, my mom and dad were left out of the decision-making and my wife of 16 years wanted me alive (not for the reason you may think) so because of her own selfish reasons, I survived.  Nancy told my parents’ that she would never leave me but I had barely awakened from the coma and the nurse asked, “Who do you want for your guardian,” I said, my wife of course.   I wanted to say my dad, but Nancy was standing right there and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. 

 Well Nancy sure didn’t care about hurting my feelings or my credit rating or my pocketbook or my reputation.  I named her my guardian and she quickly took everything out of our names and put in her name only; then divorced me.  Nancy filed for divorce just 2 months after awakening from that coma.  The parents’ were correct for my life did end in that car wreck.  My kids’ were taken from me. I spent a year in hospitals, nursing homes and a rehabilitation center but I was never able to concentrate on getting better.

My disability checks were a measly $475 and Nancy kept my first one and conned me out of the next one.  Well I am not writing this because of what I lost monetarily, but of my now feeble mind and inability to get a job and being degraded to public housing.  I had a home in the country before the accident but I won’t get into all of what I had. 

I remarried and have a 10 year-old daughter that I am raising by myself.  Stephanie, has never known a place other than this and she wisely pointed that out to me the last time I got upset about my situation. 

I want to live and do for Stephanie to the best of my ability, and the best of my ability is not very much; even so Stephanie and I enjoy a super relationship.   Before Steph, I prayed for death.  Agony on a daily basis and tortured on a minute-by-minute basis. 

So though it will be a tremendous pain for you to bear, bear it so that your daughter will not have to.  Allow her to exit the confines here on earth and to rejoice with the angels, for she is truly one of them.

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